How Could This Happen To Me?
by Lia Walker
Summary: One wrong move-- That's all it took, the one time Jane is wrong, It's Lisbon that gets hurt, How will Jane deal with the guilt? Two-Shot Mentions of Suicide!
1. Chapter 1

Title: How Could This Happen to Me?Summary: One case gone wrong, could prove to be the end of Theresa Lisbon, Will Patrick's ensuing guilt send him over the edge? Two-shot!

Author's Note: Jane and Theresa are not married in this fic! They are however a pair as well as Rigsby and VanPelt.

Disclaimer: I do not own the mentalist or the characters; only the plot they all belong to their respective owners and companies. Thank you and Enjoy ~ Lia W.

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I sit in this ever un-comfortable plastic chair and hold her hand while she sleeps, or I'd at least like to think she's sleeping. To think she is sleeping Is better then facing reality. I haven't left her side since "_It"_ happened a little over a week ago. The doctors say they expect her to make a full recovery, once she wakes up that is.. And I can only hope it's a matter of time before I see those gorgeous brown eyes looking into mine again.

Who knew that things could go so wrong so fast? I was so sure I was right. It was _my_ fault that she was in here, usually when I make assumptions I'm right. But this _one_ time I'm wrong, she gets caught in the aftermath. The bomb was supposed to be at the house, not the storage facility, the son-of-a-bitch was one step ahead of me. Well that's at least one positive thing that came out of this, he won't be hurting anyone ever again. I lean back and allow myself to lightly drift off remembering the day _it _happened.

_Flashback: _

"_Jane stay in the car." Lisbon advised "This could be a setup." _

"_Nonsense." I replied certain yet again that I was right. I stubbornly got out of the car and followed her retreating figure. She had no more then gotten into the doorway when she turned around and started to run back towards me._

"_Jane Ru…" she began but was caught off guard as the house exploded. The noise was deafening. Lisbon was thrown into a car parked nearby. The crazy son of a bitch had strapped a bomb to himself and waited, he knew that he'd get someone in his line of fire and that's all he cared about. Taking someone down with him, Jane just wishes it was himself and not Theresa. _

I came back to reality and looked around the room. Theresa had been moved to a private room yesterday, and to look at her you wouldn't even know that she had a skull fracture. The fracture thankfully hadn't started a brain bleed or things would be bad. But it had been severe enough to put her into the "Semi-coma" she was currently in. Semi was better then permanent but it was still not reassuring.

He felt himself start to drift off again when he felt it. It was slight and at first he wasn't sure if it had happened or if he'd imagined it but he felt an increase in pressure on his hand as though she was squeezing back. He looked up excitedly and started talking to her, begging her to wake up. After what seemed like forever her eyes opened to tiny slits.

He looked down at her with what had to be one of the biggest smiles he'd ever made and he said "Welcome Back"

"Welcome Back?" she questioned. He then explained to her what'd happened, how the case had closed. She looked at him for a long time then looked away after he'd finished, she knew that she should recognize this man but it didn't and it scared her. She was trying to sort out the events that she remembered, and he thought that she was angry at him so he stood quickly, and pressed the call button and exited the room, before she had the chance to stop him. Once Jane got to the hallway he took off at a jog for the parking lot suddenly feeling claustrophobic.

In the hallway he nearly ran over Rigsby and VanPelt as they made there way to visit Lisbon. Rigsby and Grace thought something bad must've happened so instead of going after Jane they went to find out what'd happened, Once they arrived in the room they saw a doctor and immediately feared the worst. The dread was short lived as they noticed that Theresa was sitting up in bed and talking to the doctor.

The doctor assured her the memory loss was only temporary and from what he judged she remembered most events just not recent and certain people. Rigsby and VanPelt sat down in the chairs and waited for Lisbon to start talking. When she didn't, VanPelt couldn't help but ask "What did you do to Jane?" Lisbon looked startled. "What are you talking about? He was fine he was just in the…" She then remembered the look on his face and who he was. "Oh God." She said aloud.

He thinks I lost my memory! She knew Jane would take this the wrong way, she didn't blame him! How could he have known he can't be the genius all the time, as much as he may like to think so! "Rigsby.." She started to say but he interrupted her and tried calling Jane's cell, there was no answer. "I'll go to his house, and you two." He gestured pointing at them "stay here."

--------- Jane ----------

Jane sat on the foot of his mattress and looked up at the smiley face still painted in his wife and daughter's blood on the wall. "Won't be long now." he thought to himself. He looked down in his hands at the empty pill bottle of one of the many anti-depressants that had been prescribed after his wife and daughters' death. He felt the drugs began to take effect as he felt himself begin to lose sight of what was real and wrong. He noticed somewhere in the distance he could hear the pounding of feet but at this point he was too far gone to care. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes "It won't be long now."

Rigsby pounded up the stairs two at a time trying to get to Jane, he had a _feeling _he couldn't quite describe it but it wasn't a good one. Upon reaching the bedroom he found the door closed, he stalled for a second before he opened the door and when he did he found an image that will never leave his mind. Jane lay deathly pale and drenched in sweat leaning against the wall, with a stuffed animal in his hands. Rigsby walked quickly over and was almost afraid at what he would find when he put his 2 fingers on Jane's jugular.

He felt relief when he noticed that Jane did have a pulse, but his relief was quickly filled with dismay when he realized how thready Jane's pulse was. He then took a mental note of Jane's respiration level while he quickly radioed for an ambulance. While waiting for and ambulance he laid Jane on his side in the recovery position incase he were to vomit from the drugs. He was shocked to find that when he went to check Jane's respirations that he was no longer breathing! He heard sirens in the driveway as he quickly began CPR and he hoped the paramedics got upstairs soon.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: How Could This Happen To Me?

Summary: The fallout of Jane's overdose, and how he and the team make it through. More then a two-shot I know!

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Moments before the paramedics entered the room-- Jane began to breathe. Rigsby felt arms pulling him back as the paramedics gently moved him aside and began to assess Jane's condition.

They took note of the pill bottles and alerted the hospital Via, Radio. They put a c-collar on him as a precaution because Rigsby couldn't honestly answer what Jane had been doing previously to taking the drugs.

If he had somehow known, then he could've told them that before he arrived Jane was sitting in his daughter's room leafing through the pages of her favorite fairytale-- "Cinderella." He could have told them that he then took his daughter's favorite stuffed animal and went into the bathroom to the pill cupboard. And he could've told them how Jane had then walked into his bedroom and put his face to the smiley on the wall, and said "I'm Sorry." More to himself then anyone else.

But he wasn't there so he couldn't. They got Jane onto the stretcher-- Carefully lifting his writhing form onto it, trying not to jar him too much. They made there way down the long staircase very, very tediously. Once outside, they put Jane on oxygen support after being advised by the hospital to do so.

They got him into the ambulance and closed the doors. The ambulance sped off the moment the doors clicked, lights and sirens flashing the whole way.

Rigsby ran to his SUV and hopped in, closely following the ambulance. After following the ambulance to the hospital he parked his car and headed towards the ER. "Where was Patrick Jane Taken?" Rigsby asked the admitting nurse.

"Sir, I cannot give out that info…" She didn't have a chance to object before Rigsby had his badge out. "Right this way officer." She told him leading him towards exam three.

The site that lay before him was horrific, Jane lay placid, and pale, sweating profusely. He was now on full oxygen support as the drugs began to absorb themselves into his blood stream.

The attending doctor was barking orders for his team to prepare for a "Gastric Lavage", also known as "Stomach Pump." He was hoping to flush out whatever drugs he could, the rest would have to run their course.

Rigsby was allowed to enter the room so long as he stayed out of the way. As the procedure began to take place he left the room, he'd seen to much for the time being. It was then he remembered "Oh God, Lisbon, Grace, and Cho, none of them know about this!"

He took out his phone to check the time and was shocked to find that he had left his ringer off and had more then 57 missed calls. "Well it's now or never." He thought as he made his way hesitantly towards the elevator-- and Lisbon's room.

Once he entered the room he was met by the very angry, and very worried faces of Cho, Lisbon, and Grace. He held up his hand, telling them with his eyes that he had to speak and it was important. "There's something I need to tell you…." He began.

He told them the entire story from the time he arrived at Jane's up to now. By the time he was done, Cho had a look of pure horror on his face, Grace was sobbing silently and Lisbon looked absolutely guilt ridden.

He sat down and told them, that the doctor would be up when he was done with the procedure. They sat talking about Jane, how they had all noticed changes in the past couple of weeks . He hadn't been as nosy as usual, he'd refrain from asking witnesses questions unless it was absolutely necessary, and he was unsociable to say the least.

Then out of the blue Lisbon asked "What day is it today?"

"It's April 9th, Why?" Asked Cho.

"Oh God!" Lisbon exclaimed. The murder of Jane's wife and daughter was five years ago on April 2nd….."

"The day of your accident." Grace added quietly.

They all understood now, this was nothing that they had done. The guilt, anger, and depression that had been eating away at Jane for years had no unleashed itself leaving them in the aftermath.

--2 Hours Later--

"Agent Rigsby?" Doctor Brackett questioned from the hallway.

"That's me" He answered standing up.

He and the doctor shook hands. The doctor then turned to the rest of them "The next of Kin listed on Mr. Jane's medical file is the CBI, So I guess all of you would like to know his condition?" he asked.

"Well your friend cut it very close, if he had been brought in 10 minutes later it would've certainly been fatal, with the gastric lavage, we were thankfully able to remove most of the toxin, he isn't out of the woods yet. The next 48 hours are critical, and after that?" He shook his head leaving the others to wonder what he meant.

When he could tell they weren't following he added "As far as I can tell your friend accidentally overdosed on a prescription, My recommendations after he get's through this are that he seeks immediate counseling, and that he has someone there for him." He concluded.

"That won't be a problem." Lisbon said.

"I didn't think so." Said Dr. Brackett as he was smiling.

"Can we see him?" Asked Lisbon hopefully.

The doctor was going to say no but he couldn't help seeing the sorrowful looks on their faces and he knew that none of them would sleep much that night until they had that reassurance that Jane was still holding on.

"Briefly, Now if you'll just follow me..." he started

"Oh and before I forget" He pulled a wheelchair in from the corridor and motioned for Rigsby to help him get Lisbon into it. She glared up at him.

"Sorry Miss, Hospital policy." He apologized.

Once they arrived in the room Rigsby was glad that the Jane, in the bed before him had improved since he had last seen him. He was no longer sweating, and some of his color had returned. He was still on oxygen and had several machines hooked up to him such as the heart monitor, the pulse oximeter, and several iv's running their intravenous fluids into his veins, hoping to flush out his system.

Lisbon and Grace sat closest to the bed and Cho and Rigsby stood politely off to the side but still close enough that they hoped Jane would sense their presence.

"Jane, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you!" Lisbon said.

"I was a little foggy when I first came to I cannot believe that I forgot you! Hell I

would've thought it's impossible to forget you" She chuckled briefly then stopped when she noticed that her talking to him was not having the desired effect.

__

Subconscious of Mr. Patrick Jane

"Jane, Please Jane… Come back to us…" Various voices floated in and out of his subconscious at first Jane thought he was flying.

"Woah these meds really do the trick." He thought

He took a step testing the cloud-like surface beneath his feet and found that if he moved even an inch that he would fall through.

"Jane…God Please don't leave us…" The voices continued.

"We need you Jane…"

That voice he thought to himself sound's so familiar. "But it can't be because I killed her just like I killed my wife and daughter, so maybe I didn't do the actual action but I inadvertently got into things I had no business getting into and this is what happens.

"We need you Jane… I need you."

"It is her!" He realized to himself. Maybe stepping off of this cloud wasn't such a bad idea, after all he didn't know where it would take him but he wasn't going anywhere anyway.

He closed his eyes and took the first step…

"Actuality"

They continued to talk to him hoping that somehow their word's were getting through.

"Jane we need you…" Lisbon pled, but she then added "**I **need you."

Now _that _seemed to have the desired effect as he began to stir, and at last two glacier blue eyes opened to mere slits and looked at her. "Welcome back." She smiled through tears.

__

I open my eyes  
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light  
I can't remember how  
I can't remember why  
I'm lying here tonight

  
_And I can't stand the pain  
And I can't make it go away  
No I can't stand the pain_

How could this happen to me  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream  
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming  
I try to make a sound but no one hears me  
I'm slipping off the edge  
I'm hanging by a thread  
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered  
And I can't explain what happened  
And I can't erase the things that I've done  
No I can't

How could this happen to me  
I made my mistakes  
I've got no where to run  
The night goes on  
As I'm fading away  
I'm sick of this life  
I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me 


	3. Chapter 3

_Now that seemed to have the desired effect as he began to stir, and at last two glacier blue eyes opened to mere slits and looked at her. "Welcome back." She smiled through tears._

The events of the days passed had slowly seeped into Jane's mind upon awakening. He looked at the concerned faces of his friends and colleagues and offered his apology "I'm Sorry."

They all looked at each other and it was Lisbon who finally spoke "You have nothing to be sorry for, so long as you don't EVER do that to me again Jane."

"You've got yourself a deal." he agreed with a weak attempt at a smile.

The next two weeks were spent on Jane's recovery. He had remained in the hospital for three days after waking up and on April 23rd he returned to the CBI.

He walked into the office and found the team discussing the latest case. A girl of about 15 had been found murdered, no signs of the weapon were found at the scene and the case was being taken over by the CBI.

No one had noticed Jane's arrival or his listening until he stepped further into the office. They all looked at him rather awkwardly hoping that he would be the one to break the silence.

He feigned innocence and said "What are you all doing standing around here? We have a case to work on!"

Lisbon smiled. _Jane was back._

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Sorry it was so abrupt but I have many stories to work on! Hoped this chapter got the point across!


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